Day 4 - Xanadu (1980)

Every time you watch Xanadu, Zeus kills a muse. 

I'm serious, here. Look at the evidence; I'm sat here waffling like an idiot, unable to get to the point because I'm not even sure the point I'm trying to get to actually exists.

Don't believe me? Let's toddle over to the IMDB to take a look at the career trajectories of the three leads. Granted, Gene Kelly was 68, but that was no reason for him to quit film acting - look at Emmanuelle Riva, for goodness' sake! Olivia Newton-John doesn't even have that excuse, but what has she done since that you've actually heard of? Saddest of all is poor Michael Beck, who came to the project fresh off the back of a dazzling performance in The Warriors. His future should have held bona-fide A-List stardom, rather than a string of TV movies and small guest roles in the likes of Diagnosis Murder.

It's frightening. So if you ever find yourself tempted by the lush sounds of the Electric Light Orchestra and Miss Newton John's wholesome, girl-next-door charms, please, for God's sake, think of the poor artists?

The good

It's a romantic musical fantasy about minor Greek divinities and the ultimate rollerdisco, starring Gene Kelly, with songs by ELO and an animated interlude by Don Bluth. If that doesn't at least pique your curiosity, you're either dead or a terminal realist.

Nothing else looks quite like Xanadu, either - I really liked the way the muses were outlined by coronas of animated colour. The whole film looks a bit like a live-action My Little Pony movie, and sort of plays like one, too. Add in an innocent romance where the female lead always has the upper hand, and presto! Ladies and gentlemen, I think I just found this film an audience.

Song quality is variable, but Jeff Lynne's main theme is an absolute stormer - rich and lyrical, without ever losing musical momentum on the way to a sparkling, soaring chorus. I cannot lie: I found the film a deeply depressing experience, but ten minutes after it finished I was still dancing around the kitchen and trying to pretend I wasn't singing along.

The bad

I wanted to like this one. I was pretty convinced, in fact, that I was going to love it. So, what went wrong?

I still think Xanadu would make a great stage musical - if Wikipedia informs me correctly, in fact, it already has done. In the theatre, it doesn't matter so much if practically every line of dialogue is exposition, or if said lines are delivered with the wide-eyed sincerity of a kid in their first Nativity play. 

Maybe I shouldn't have spent the entire film asking myself would a grown adult really say that? - it's a fantasy piece, after all, and no more ludicrous than the likes of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Suspension of disbelief, however, is something that has to be earned - Rocky Horror does this with tremendous warmth and a sense of mischief that makes the audience feel a part of the action. How are we expected to feel a similar sense of involvement in Xanadu, a musical where half the songs are used as mere backing music to artistic rollerskating?

There are those, of course, who'll like Xanadu for the kitsch value, but I've never bought into kitsch - if an item or a song or a film only has value if viewed through a filter of subtle, patronising derision, where's the value in it at all?

The verdict

Xanadu is a lot like a shower of rainbow glitter; pretty, silly and ethereal, and delightful for a few seconds at a time. Only the very young or very undemanding, however, will be able to make it through the full 96-minute running time without longing for something a little more substantial.