What we got, of course, was basically Whedon's voicemail: Hi, I'm not here at the moment, but if you leave a message after the beep I'll get back to you with a group of supertalented, preternaturally witty teen models led by a token charismatic adult played by somebody with a cult fan following. The kids looked the same as the kids in Buffy and Angel and Dollhouse, and I'm not sure I ever felt so old in my life, or so out of touch.
In case the past couple of weeks of entries haven't made it obvious, I like my heroes flawed. Not tragically flawed, which is almost as boring as them being tragically flawless, just... human, I guess, capable of being pompous or selfish or even not terribly good at their jobs. Take Iron Man 3, for instance, as a recent example; there was a lot about it that I loved, but the thing that sent me home smiling all over was the big reveal that Tony Stark's portentous voiceover from the start of the movie was actually being delivered to somebody who'd clearly heard it all before and could barely keep his eyes open.
What's a superhero to do if even their friends and family can't take them seriously? This is the question that confronts the titular characters of 1999's Mystery Men. In a world where top-flight superheroes can rake in megabucks from corporate sponsorship, there's not a lot of room for, say, a guy who hits things with a shovel or a kid who can only turn invisible when nobody's looking. Oh, they might dream of hitting the big time and think about pooling their resources to hire a publicist, but what's the point when Captain Amazing is so successful he's actually put himself out of a job?
The good
First things first: Mystery Men looks amazing. It has that sort of blacklit glow I admired in the likes of Super Mario Bros; the same hypersaturated visuals that get me watching the Scooby Doo movies if I don't think anybody will catch me in the act. There's a vague sort of retrofuturism thing going on, too, although it's never clearly defined; this, combined with the occasional use of Beethoven on the soundtrack, makes me wonder whether somebody on the production crew doesn't have a bit of a thing for A Clockwork Orange - I'm probably way off the mark but it's still a nice thought to entertain.Performances are variable, but as always, Janeane Garofalo adds wit and class every time she appears onscreen. Kel Mitchell is charming as Invisible Boy, lending a real vulnerability to what could have been a one-note character, while Geoffrey Rush plays villain Casanova Frankenstein, and with a name like that, what more do you need? You probably don't need anything more, in fact, but an extended cameo by Tom Waits as an inventor of non-lethal weaponry is certainly something you'd want.
What I really, really love about Mystery Men, however, is how incredibly goodhearted it is - I mean, we're talking Little Miss Sunshine levels of warmth and acceptance for its characters. It doesn't matter that they're misguided or ridiculous or faintly embarrassing, they're still unique and interesting and deserving of love. Almost all the protagonists have friends or family who care about them; I was particularly struck by the Shoveler's interracial marriage, which isn't emphasized or remarked upon at any point. These are fantastic messages, and the fact that they're actively demonstrated rather than hammered home with dialogue only serves to make them more powerful.
The bad
Unfortunately, the film takes a little too long to get into gear - at two hours, in fact, it's probably a shade too long overall. Appropriately, it spends a long time establishing the characters, but unfortunately, some of said characters just aren't that interesting. Take The Spleen, for instance; perhaps there are people who enjoy Paul Reubens' work, but here he's basically playing an extended fart gag and it gets old long before a skunk starts humping his leg. As the Sphinx, too, Wes Studi manages to edge over onto the wrong side of irritating.Worse, however, is Ben Stiller's Mr. Furious, if only because he's a joke that doesn't work. He doesn't seem particularly angry or particularly placid, and even when he loses his temper it comes off as rather half-hearted and implausible. Furious is supposed to be a central figure, but when self-doubt overcomes him and he leaves the group, I barely noticed, let alone cared.
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