So, the Xbox One arrived last night, and so did my copy of Lego Marvel Avengers. Do you think I'd let this make me neglect my blogging duties, though?
Damned right I would, but I saw a film last night (sort of) and so here's a writeup (sort of).
In the interests of strict honesty, I didn't so much watch Hellboy II, The Golden Army as sleep through it. I've seen it a bunch of times before, though, so I can probably mostly remember what goes on. Ish.
Guillermo Del Toro is a talented director, no doubt about it, but the vast majority of his output has totally failed to set me on fire. Don't get me wrong, I admire him as a visual stylist and especially as a creature creator, it's just that his storytelling tends to shoot for the mythical but land at the banal. I land up cringing when I should be thrilling, and beauty that should delight me lands up winding me up in the face of just how trite it all is.
Superhero stories, though? They're meant to be a bit cheesy, a bit sentimental. Okay, maybe they're not meant to be, but that's how I like them. Giving Del Toro the Hellboy franchise, therefore, has resulted in two movies that have both more or less hit my sweet spot, combining cheerfully soap operatic storylines with a pinch of magic and some truly gorgeous visual touches.
In the second instalment, Hellboy and the gang go up against a renegade elf played by former boy-band member Luke Goss in a long blonde wig and the sort of shimmery makeup that must have made the yaoi brigade wet their collective knickers. There's monsters aplenty, plus a new team member in the form of clockwork scientist Johann Krauss, who is apparently voiced (in what was, when I found this out 20 seconds ago, a genuine wtf moment) by Seth MacFarlane.
The fate of the world is at stake, but somehow this never seems quite so important as the romantic entanglements. Y'know what, though? I like it that way. One thing I've noticed about this film is that amidst all the special effects, the only scene anybody ever talks about is the one where Hellboy and Abe the fishman get drunk and sing along to Can't Smile Without You. You'd never see an Avenger doing that, which may be why the likes of Ant-Man and Guardians of the Galaxy have felt so refreshing. While these are both fun films, though, their protagonists still can't match Hellboy and his associates in terms of down-at-heel, shambling charm. The BPRD team are genuine misfits, and that's probably why they'll always have their own untouchable place within my heart.
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