So, on Friday I took the afternoon off to eat fancy Italian food on a bench by a fountain before hopping over to see X-Men: Apocalypse. I'd been looking forward to it rather more than Captain America: Civil War, to be honest, if only because I'd had such a wonderful time watching 2014's X-Men: Days of Future Past.
Apocalypse wasn't a patch on either one, not really (and I think I may finally have finally hit my own personal Peak McAvoy), but I was happy enough playing spot-the-character and revelling in effects that varied from okay to positively dreadful. Recommended for fans of bad superhero movies, I guess, but probably not for the diehards or the generally uninterested.
Zootropolis, on the other hand, I'd recommend to pretty much anybody. Yet another excellent addition to Disney's CGI oeuvre, it has the looks and heart I'm gradually coming to expect, but with the surprise addition of a few grown-up braincells. Set in a world of anthropomorphic animals, it explores the tensions that can spring up where predators live side by side with their former prey.
It's all very allegorical, of course, and not terribly subtle, but it's still a heck of a lot more watchable than District 9. It left me feeling joyous and energised, and as the credits started to roll, I was already planning taking another look in a double bill with Hot Fuzz. So treat yourselves, okay? Your life needs a little more of this in it.
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Lilo & Stitch (2002) and Captain America: Civil War (2016)
I could tell you about the deep emotional significance Lilo and Stitch holds for me, but it wouldn't be true. I finished watching it for the first time about half an hour ago, and Disney provenance notwithstanding, I thought it was absolutely brilliant. I loved the warmth and anger of it, the messy family dynamics and its unwillingness to condemn any of the main players as evil or irredeemable. Most of all, though, I loved the two heroines, confused, wounded Lilo and her desperate sister Nani, trying to hold it together in the face of a family tragedy but only occasionally managing to get things completely right. It was great, too, to see female characters with realistically-proportioned bodies rather than the usual Disney jobs with waists narrower than their necks. All in all, it was a fantastic piece of animation that richly deserves any and all praise it receives.
Which, I'm pleased to say, makes it the second thoroughly enjoyable film I've seen this weekend. On Friday I finally succumbed to peer pressure and took an afternoon's holiday to go watch Captain America: Civil War, despite having been dreading it for the better part of a year. It's not that I'm saying that The Winter Soldier, the second instalment of the Captain America saga was awful - far from it. It was just humourless and emotionless and generally took itself far too seriously, and made for a miserable couple of hours at the cinema when I saw it the other year. I hadn't been in any great hurry to see more of the same, but then reviewers started talking about its demented likeability and then a friend started putting the thumbscrews on and I really, really fancied walking out of work at lunchtime for a long weekend...
Was it a good film? Not sure. I can't think of anything worse to say about it than that it was a bit on the long side, but then, it was hard for my Inner Critic to hear anything over the deafening squealing of my Inner Fangirl (It's VISION! And he's in MENSWEAR!). People have mentioned the presence of a bunch of superfluous characters, but I'm a sucker for huge ensemble casts, and besides, Tom Holland made for the most perfect Spider-Man I could ever have imagined and probably got more full-on laughs out of me than any other character. There are a lot of laughs, by the way, and tons more chuckles, so by the time it goes all serious in the final act it's abundantly clear that each and every Avenger still adores each and every other Avenger, with the possible exception of Jeremy Renner's defiantly grouchy Hawkeye.
Tell me it's a mess and I'd probably agree, but dammit, can you think of anything truly enjoyable in life that isn't at least a bit messy? Admit it - you can't, can you?
My rating:
Inner Critic: ***
Inner Fangirl: ***************************** (plus about a million more)
Which, I'm pleased to say, makes it the second thoroughly enjoyable film I've seen this weekend. On Friday I finally succumbed to peer pressure and took an afternoon's holiday to go watch Captain America: Civil War, despite having been dreading it for the better part of a year. It's not that I'm saying that The Winter Soldier, the second instalment of the Captain America saga was awful - far from it. It was just humourless and emotionless and generally took itself far too seriously, and made for a miserable couple of hours at the cinema when I saw it the other year. I hadn't been in any great hurry to see more of the same, but then reviewers started talking about its demented likeability and then a friend started putting the thumbscrews on and I really, really fancied walking out of work at lunchtime for a long weekend...
Was it a good film? Not sure. I can't think of anything worse to say about it than that it was a bit on the long side, but then, it was hard for my Inner Critic to hear anything over the deafening squealing of my Inner Fangirl (It's VISION! And he's in MENSWEAR!). People have mentioned the presence of a bunch of superfluous characters, but I'm a sucker for huge ensemble casts, and besides, Tom Holland made for the most perfect Spider-Man I could ever have imagined and probably got more full-on laughs out of me than any other character. There are a lot of laughs, by the way, and tons more chuckles, so by the time it goes all serious in the final act it's abundantly clear that each and every Avenger still adores each and every other Avenger, with the possible exception of Jeremy Renner's defiantly grouchy Hawkeye.
Tell me it's a mess and I'd probably agree, but dammit, can you think of anything truly enjoyable in life that isn't at least a bit messy? Admit it - you can't, can you?
My rating:
Inner Critic: ***
Inner Fangirl: ***************************** (plus about a million more)
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Deadpool (2016)
Mind if I'm honest with you for a second here? I don't know what the hell I'm going to be writing about today. Earlier on I saw Deadpool, which was actually a pretty fun ride except, unfortunately, for the character of Deadpool himself, played by my absolute favourite actor ever, Ryan Reynolds. My gut instinct is to say that this maybe isn't Reynolds' fault, except that, hang on a sec, it's apparently been a pet project that he's been wanting to get off the ground for ages, so nope, sorry, not gonna let him off the hook.
Anyhow, I felt incredibly grubby afterwards so I wanted a palate cleanser, something sweet and funny and clever and almost certainly made without the involvement of a major US studio. This brought me back, as it often does, to The Day of the Doctor, a feature-length episode broadcast in 2013 to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the BBC's iconic sci-fi show Dr. Who.
By this point, I had over three hours of material to think about, and that's where I am now, irritable and overstimulated and wondering vaguely whether I'd have a decent subject to write about if only I went and found something else instead. My gut says no, so here I am, with Deadpool lingering in my mind like the wet patch after an ill-advised and possibly syphilitic one night stand.
I think what's driving me loopy here is that I could have really enjoyed it if only the lead character had been less like the wank fantasies of a future school shooter. Heck, I enjoyed the titles immensely, with the way they neatly skewered the tropes that sometimes bind comic book movies just that little bit too tightly. I certainly wasn't against all the fourth wall breaking, either - it felt inventive and playful, and god knows that's something the genre could do with more of.
The sidekicks were far more endearing than we've seen in any Marvel movie other than Guardians of the Galaxy, too, with the CGI Colossus (voicework: Stefan Kapicic) positively adorable, a lump of sentient steel with the heart of the grandmother you always wanted but would never have owing to some serious advocaat issues.
None of this, however, can manage to compensate for Deadpool himself being, bluntly put, a raging cunt. Showing him putting the frighteners on a teenage girl's stalker doesn't establish his good guy credentials, particularly when said stalker is clearly a teenager himself and no match for a dishonourable discharge (pun only partially intended) from the special forces. Granted, Deadpool himself is constantly reiterating that he isn't the hero, but 1) It's his damned movie, 2) None of his actions incur any real consequences, 3) There's apparently a sequel in the works, and 4) Not a single one of the prolonged torture sequences he endured included the bloody laryngectomy he clearly so desperately needed in order to be less eminently slappable. Actually, no, scratch #2, his girlfriend Vanessa (Morena Baccarin, also moderately endearing) does slap him at one point, but y'know what? Female on male domestic violence also isn't okay.
Other things that also aren't okay? Using a character's pansexuality as a selling point for how transgressive and revolutionary a character is and then making them the sort of camp, vaguely predatory nominally bisexual creep that your friendly neighbourhood homophobe holds up as an example whenever they're on a particularly violent paranoia jag. If you kiss someone while you've got them pinned up against the wall and you're threatening to kill them? That's not sexual attraction, it's just a slightly rapey power trip and again, calling yourself an antihero doesn't make it cool, it just makes you a cunt managing, against all the odds, to out-cunt yourself in a cunting competition.
So, guys, there you go - why not spend a fun afternoon watching Deadpool sometime soon? Then it can turn you into a happier, classier person. Just like it did me.
Anyhow, I felt incredibly grubby afterwards so I wanted a palate cleanser, something sweet and funny and clever and almost certainly made without the involvement of a major US studio. This brought me back, as it often does, to The Day of the Doctor, a feature-length episode broadcast in 2013 to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the BBC's iconic sci-fi show Dr. Who.
By this point, I had over three hours of material to think about, and that's where I am now, irritable and overstimulated and wondering vaguely whether I'd have a decent subject to write about if only I went and found something else instead. My gut says no, so here I am, with Deadpool lingering in my mind like the wet patch after an ill-advised and possibly syphilitic one night stand.
I think what's driving me loopy here is that I could have really enjoyed it if only the lead character had been less like the wank fantasies of a future school shooter. Heck, I enjoyed the titles immensely, with the way they neatly skewered the tropes that sometimes bind comic book movies just that little bit too tightly. I certainly wasn't against all the fourth wall breaking, either - it felt inventive and playful, and god knows that's something the genre could do with more of.
The sidekicks were far more endearing than we've seen in any Marvel movie other than Guardians of the Galaxy, too, with the CGI Colossus (voicework: Stefan Kapicic) positively adorable, a lump of sentient steel with the heart of the grandmother you always wanted but would never have owing to some serious advocaat issues.
None of this, however, can manage to compensate for Deadpool himself being, bluntly put, a raging cunt. Showing him putting the frighteners on a teenage girl's stalker doesn't establish his good guy credentials, particularly when said stalker is clearly a teenager himself and no match for a dishonourable discharge (pun only partially intended) from the special forces. Granted, Deadpool himself is constantly reiterating that he isn't the hero, but 1) It's his damned movie, 2) None of his actions incur any real consequences, 3) There's apparently a sequel in the works, and 4) Not a single one of the prolonged torture sequences he endured included the bloody laryngectomy he clearly so desperately needed in order to be less eminently slappable. Actually, no, scratch #2, his girlfriend Vanessa (Morena Baccarin, also moderately endearing) does slap him at one point, but y'know what? Female on male domestic violence also isn't okay.
Other things that also aren't okay? Using a character's pansexuality as a selling point for how transgressive and revolutionary a character is and then making them the sort of camp, vaguely predatory nominally bisexual creep that your friendly neighbourhood homophobe holds up as an example whenever they're on a particularly violent paranoia jag. If you kiss someone while you've got them pinned up against the wall and you're threatening to kill them? That's not sexual attraction, it's just a slightly rapey power trip and again, calling yourself an antihero doesn't make it cool, it just makes you a cunt managing, against all the odds, to out-cunt yourself in a cunting competition.
So, guys, there you go - why not spend a fun afternoon watching Deadpool sometime soon? Then it can turn you into a happier, classier person. Just like it did me.
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