...As opposed to the 2005 or 2015 versions. Not that I have anything against the former, I hasten to add, I've just heard repeatedly that the earliest screen incarnation of Marvel's oldest superhero team is the best of a bad bunch. I was also under the mistaken impression that it was directed by Roger Corman, which piqued my interest - checking the imdb I now see that he just has a production credit, but still, it's an interesting name to have attached to a project like this.
To explain: some superheroes are fundamentally cool. Batman is the classic example, of course, but the likes of Spider-Man and Iron Man still have a certain style and drama that work well on the big screen. All of these have mass market appeal. Now, imagine these as points at one end of a line. Moving further down said line, you have Wolverine, and, quite a bit further down, the rest of the X-Men. Travelling still further, we're getting to the point where mainstream audiences just ain't that interested. Superman was marketable once, but now he's just too goody-goody, and I doubt that even Mark Ruffalo could rescue another solo Hulk outing. Are you with me so far? Good. Now, hop into a cab and give the driver your large-denomination note of choice. Climb out, and you'll be right next to the Fantastic Four.
I'm sorry if this sounds uncharitable, but it's just how it is. Stretchy superheroes like Reed Richards are inherently ludicrous, and once you install him at the head of a team, you've basically declared your intent to make either a comedy or a kids' movie. Frankly, trying to make a dark and gritty origin story like whatsisname from Chronicle did this year was always going to be a bit stupid.
To cut a long story short, this is why I think Oley Sassone deserves a little credit for handling such difficult material in such a tonally-appropriate manner. His interpretation of The Fantastic Four is cheap, cheerful and incredibly cheesy, but y'know what? It comes closer to the spirit of the comic than any other film or TV adaptation I've seen. Alex Hyde-White (so stilted and annoying in Biggles: Adventures In Time) makes the perfect Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic, with just the right mixture of bravery and geekiness. The other characters aren't quite so successful, unfortunately - Rebecca Staab's Sue Storm is, almost inevitably, severely underwritten, and Jay Underwood's Johnny Storm (a character intended as a natural irritant) is the wrong shade of annoying. As Ben Grimm, Michael Bailey Smith spends large chunks of the film hidden beneath a pretty effective rubber rock suit; as with most of the leads he's a diabolical actor, but I've always had a thing for the Thing and so I was sort of charmed anyway.
The plot is pretty much what you'd expect, with the four friends gaining their superpowers and defeating their arch-nemesis, Dr. Doom. It's shored up by effects that were hokey by 1994 standards - by 1984 standards, too, for that matter - and honestly, if you don't enjoy rubbish superhero movies, then there'll be nothing for you to see here and you'd be better off moving on. Me, though? I generally prefer rubbish superhero movies, especially to the dark and glossy sadism that Christopher Nolan's using the genre to peddle these days. The Fantastic Four is cheap, lightweight entertainment, but it has spirit and heart - it felt to me like a natural precursor to the likes of Guardians of the Galaxy. So here's to the guys at the far end of the cool continuum; I'll continue hopping that cab and travelling to see you at every opportunity.
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