Recipe for one animated family blockbuster:
Take one time-honoured, classic children's book loved by parents and kids alike.
Now, this is an organic, handcrafted children's book, not pumped full of sugar and hormones like many childrens' books of today, which is why no matter how delicious it might be on its own, it's going to be necessary to add a few things to make it stretch a little further. One of the commonest ways of doing this is with bread, so why not simply cook up a few extra roles? If your local convenience store stocks teen heroes or popular family favourites, you can use their voices to flavour the roles and add sweetness.
You could probably cook and serve your movie just as it is, and people would probably like it well enough. However, this isn't just any movie we're making here, it's a blockbuster - it has to have the WOW factor or the kids might turn up their noses. Besides, many time-honoured children's classics carry moral messages, and you know how hard it is to get kids to swallow anything that might be good for them!
It can be quite hard to disguise a really powerful message, so we recommend you stir in some storecupboard favourites such as songs and one-liners, plus a generous pinch of 3D. If you're still not sure whether the little ones will eat it up, however, don't be afraid to add several bottles of artificial colour.
Once it's all mixed up together, bake until the preview ratings are favourable.
Serve up, and hate yourself forever.
Warning: The Lorax is a sometimes food. Frequent re-watchings may lead to migraines, earworms and unmentionable bowel symptoms. You may think this review is contrived and clumsy, but trust me, my Seuss parody would have been much, much worse.
No comments:
Post a Comment